Archive for January 2003
Dead Air: Small Wonder
January 23, 2003, 11:08 pmEntertainment-Geekly - January 23, 2003
Hands down, this was the creepiest show on television in the 80s and perhaps all of time. This is the show that archaeologists will find in some dusty, bungalow tomb and will create divisive rifts in the academic community of the year 2831 over what it all says about the people of the 20th century (hint: the answers isn’t a great one).
Why is it creepy? Well, it’s a bubble-gum, feel-good, family oriented sitcom� about a roboticist who builds himself a nine year old girl in a Little Orphan Annie dress. Sure, that’s just the set up for the rest of the series, wherein the little girl robot becomes stilted, but loved part of the family. You can bet wacky hi-jinks ensue, but let�s go back to the initial premise � a grown man builds himself a little girl.
Plotwise it makes a certain amount of sense. It’s not like you can make a sitcom about a genius roboticist who designs a revolutionary AI system, installs it in a military robot, and brings that home to the family… Actually, that’s not true. I should say, in the 80s, you couldn’t make a show like that, instead you need a warmer, fuzzier show. Today, you probably could make a show about a foundling killing machine and his human family. I’m claiming dibs on this one - I’ll call it Meet Private Newborn or possibly My Little B.R.O.T.H.E.R.
Anyhow, I digress (and badly). Back to my main point, which was that this show - even beyond its saccharine sweetness (a common malady of the bulk of 80s sitcoms) - was disturbing at a low, primal, almost subliminal level. But that’s just me. Everyone else seemed to love the show. Though the archeologists will likely not be aware of this - not many TV Guides will survive the Printing Wars of 2087 - unlike many of the shows covered here, this one actually ran for four seasons. That�s like, an above average show lifespan. Well shy of M*A*S*H or Friends, but a solid showing.
Today, like many Dead Air candidates, you’d be hard pressed to find the show, but back then apparently a lot of people were watching it. I can only speculate as to why, as I rarely watched it and never for an entire episode, which worked like this;
Vicki* (the girl-robot), who spoke in a monotone a lot (which people rarely questioned), ends up in a position where her true nature might be compromised. Sometimes this is because of her “brother” Jamie, who has the most believable character motivation going on - when your dad brings home a human robot, you immediately set out to see what kind of trouble you can get into with it.
Often times things go wacky because of the nosey neighbors, predominately Harriet, the nosey red-headed girl next door who is actually an alien, her massive alien brain hidden under a giant, red-headed ‘do, and excessive pony-tails hiding her extra, tentacle-like limbs. Sorry, I made that last bit up. Wishful thinking I guess. She’s really just nosey and red-headed. Thick as a brick, as she’s never able to prove her suspicions about Vicki, but persistently nosey. Her parents, who are just as annoying and nosey fill the bill nicely too.
Occasionally, some bizarre, emergent behavior in Vicki leads to the laughs, while touching our hearts because she’s becoming, in some small way, more human. In any case, the episode then revolves around the Lawsons (her adoptive family) keeping her robot nature secret by attributing her weird behavior to the flu or vitamins or something. I’m probably simplifying matter too much, but it�s my column damn it.
What I want to know is why they have to hide her nature? They probably set this up in the first episode, which I only vaguely remember having ever seen, but I like to think it’s because they’re afraid of one simple, embarrassing fact - Dr. Lawson made a robot girl in his lab. Try explaining that one to the public. Seriously - turn to the person next to you and say, “Hey, guess what? I built a robot little girl in my lab.” and see what kind of reaction you get.
Love it or hate it (there seems to be sizable groups on either side � another Dead Air anomaly as Dead Air shows tend to be remembered only by a select few) the show ran for four years before the baby Fox network canned it for reasons unknown. Given their spastic cancellation record, it could have been the president of the network got coffee on his tie that morning or something. It certainly wasn�t due to ratings, as the show was popular enough at the time to have early pre-production work started on a fifth season and a spin-off series involving a second generation robot girl. I dunno � by the time you�re building a teenage robot girl, I think it�s safe to say Dr. Lawson isn�t working strictly in the name of science.
–
* It�s the humanization of V.I.C.I. which stood for Voice Input Child Identicant. (Shrug) I’m as confused as you. It meant you could “program” Vicki with voice commands, though in pidgin computerese on the show, this meant that someone would go, “Vicki, kill the neighbors.” and she’d do it without having to get clarification on what “kill” or “neighbor” means.
As an aside, I plugged Vicki into The Cyborger and got “Vigilant Individual Calibrated for Killing and Infiltration”. So it looks like my sitcom idea wasn’t as crazy as you thought! Watch for He Ain’t Heavy, He’s Composed of Titanium this fall on the USA Network.
—castewar | no comments
(posted in the Dead Air category)
Starburst Theme designed by Claire
powered by WordPress 2.5.1 | valid XHTML and CSS
